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Top Secret 8
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soccerforwomen
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soccerforwomen
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1991-09-15
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72 lines
³SOCCER FOR WOMEN
²-----------------
¹
Have you ever had this feeling before:
"If I don't switch the channel now, I
will propably throw up all over the
floor". I have just had that feeling.
I was watching a female soccergame, it
was Denmark vs. Norway. I simply
can't understand how these foolish
little girlies can make them selves run
around the soccer pitch looking that
stupid, without knowing it themselves
(that they look stupid) It all started
quite normally, but then a few minutes
in the match, you found out that this
was simply the worst thing you would
ever see. Suddenly they started to
tumble around each other. Then some of
the players started to step on the ball
while they were running, everybody who
has tried to play football knows how
its like to step on a ball, when you
are about to run with it. Well, this
wasn't all, it was their pathetic
attemps to make smart moves too. Well,
actually a player who tried this, was
lucky if she reached 1 metre up the
pitch before she was stopped, simply
because of the speed she made these
details. Even the coach, that stood on
the sideline could shout to his players
what to do to the "smartwoman", before
she even moved. None of the teams
scored any goals the first 80 minutes
(women only play 2x40 minutes) , so
they had to play 2x10 minutes of extra
time. None of the teams managed to
score here either, so they had to shoot
some penalties. This was a real joke.
Some of them couldn't even get air
under the ball, so they had to make
these ground shots, with the result
that the ball had almost stopped
halfway in there. If the goalie had
been quick, she could easily have taken
the ball, even though she had thrown
herself to the other side, but she
wasn't, and that's probably why the
Norweigans won the game 7-8 (remember
no goals in normal time). One of the
funnier things was when these women
scored a goal, they waved their arms in
a kind of stupid dance, a little like
an African tribe dance (sorry
Africans), and they really tried to
jump but they barely got off the
ground. I'd like to see a goal scored
with the head in a female match (the
players might get the ball in the head
by accident, but that doesn't count).
Well, some might say that I'm a
chauvenist, but I won't say this: I
simply admire for being such a genius,
creating the woman. I guess girls is
one of the only things to live for
(well,for me it is!!!), and if you
haven't tried one, you have something
to look forward to. But PLEASE, don't
put these beautiful creatures on a
football pitch, it's like watching me
gardening: Very, awkward. ³Mud/Majic12¹